Not To Mention...

...seriously. And I need a vacation. I think no matter what the doctor says, I'm going to mask up and head to Palm Springs and sit in the sun and in the shadow of the mountains and pray for a leetle earthquake and go for coffee every single morning. And forget that cancer, and the crazy people, exist.

Thought For the Day

"If you have faith the size of a grain of mustard seed, you will move mountains." Jesus

"If the mountain won't come to Mohammed, then Mohammed will go to the mountain."
Mohammed

"Mountains can be moved...one stone at a time." Ancient Chinese saying

Cancer is a full-time job

I haven't written in awhile because I've been so busy managing health crisis, applications for assistance for my medical insurance, talking to creditors to get my payments lowered (they've been, for the most part, very helpful and understanding), visiting doctors, getting chemo. It takes up enormous amounts of time! Not to mention psychic and mental energy involved.
Okay, will stop whining. Life goes on.
I won't know if the Avastin/Gemzar regimen is working until my next CT scan in three weeks or so, though it feels as if it is - pain is less, though I still can't eat big, fatty meals (no REAL loss there, right?) And you know what I've noticed? Good Lord, we eat a lot of salty, fatty food...even when we're trying to eat healthy. No wonder we are so fat! (That's my excuse, anyway).
The doc ordered a Lupron shot to shut down my ovaries, something I wanted over a year ago, but everyone thought the chemo would do that all by itself. It didn't (I've got stubborn ovaries - imagine that - next time I'm in a bad mood, I can blame my ovaries) After a few months I'll be put on an aromatase inhibitor, which will suck the rest of the estrogen out of my body and I can say goodbye to my nice soft skin and hair...sigh. I'll really start looking like a troll.
In the meantime, two good things have happened my way.
Last week I spent four days at Sundara Spa and Retreat, part of the Breast Cancer Recovery Foundation's "Infinite Boundaries" retreats. This one was specifically designed for mets patients, and we were treated like queens. The staff volunteered; the chef cooked healthy and sumptuous meals (I had lost 5 lbs in four days by the time I came back - 'course, having had decadron on Wednesday, I now weigh 7 lbs more than I did then...sigh). I had a Kohler spa tub in my bath, a feather bed and fireplace. The volunteer retreat leaders did a wonderful job, and lots of tears and laughter flowed. I was struck again by how wonderful these women truly are, each one of them - as if the disease has turned on the faucet of life and compassion.
I don't think people always realize the value of the gift they give to those of us who are struggling with illness; even if it's just an hour facial, or making sure every item on the dinner table is perfect, or exposing us to a little unheard-of luxury - may have taken them a minute, a second, something they do even without thinking, and it warms our souls and lightens our load. I was so relaxed when I came home....
And Thursday I'm interviewing for a job writing for Calumet Publishing, the Brillion and Hilbert areas, kind of feature/color stories that I like to write. I hope the pay is reasonable...it will be very part-time. But should be fun, and bring in a few extra bucks! And get me out of the house to do something I like.
So my post today is a mixed bag; but I'm in a good (tired) mood.