Composing Your Own Funeral

I called up my (new) pastor the other day, Melinda Feller, poor thing, and she and I and my friend Nancy had lunch. She didn't know yet that my cancer has spread to my liver. I met with her to talk to her about my funeral.

I mean, honestly, I don't know where or when I'll die; I know with liver ca it can be very unpredictable, and I'm doing my darndest to beat its ass into the ground (round 2). But I'll be damned if I'm going to have a funeral with schlocky music and everybody forgetting that for me, "all sickness and sorrow are ended, and death itself is past." No "In The Garden" ("mom loved to garden...") I want "Take Me Home" and our family hymn, "For the Beauty of the Earth", maybe "I Hope You Dance" or that Josh Groban song...or perhaps "Goin' Up A'Yonder" if there's a choir - and no Psalm 23, rather, "consider the lilies of the field and how they grow..."

I still have hope that I live at least another few years. Maybe I'll get more, some folks do. So it's not so much with a morbid dread that I put my funeral out there, but with a desire to make things easier on my kids, who will be responsible for planning a memorial service. And while I think asking everyone to be joyful is a bit much, I do want the service to be a hopeful witness and celebration of all God does for God's own children. I know it will be sad, but it doesn't have to be depressing.

Melinda, bless her, handled it with grace, and she and Nancy gave me some good advice for supporting the girls as they walk through this process. I'll talk with their father - the main problem will be my mother, who hates the thought of cremation.